Look how your childhood trauma affects relationships with your partner
Breaking up very often is caused by fear of abandonment. Do you know that some things that caused traumas in your childhood may affect how you act and feel in your relationships now? Well it is true! Even if something seemed small to an adult, it would have felt very big and scary to a child.
For example, sometimes a child feels like they were left alone or not cared for enough when they were young. This can make them feel rather sad and scared. And sometimes, when they’re all grown up, they might still feel scared about being left alone.
One of my clients, named Jeanette, used to always break up with her boyfriends rather quickly. She didn’t even know why she was doing it! But it turns out that when she was a child, she felt like her family wasn’t paying enough attention to her. So she learned to protect herself by pushing people away before they could hurt her.
Stuck in a cycle of breaking up
Jeanette had a boyfriend for two years, but then she started thinking about breaking up. She noticed some things about him that used to be okay, but now they bothered her. She didn’t know why, but she just wasn’t happy in the relationship anymore.
Then she realized that she had broken up with her other boyfriends in the first few years as well. It felt like she was failing again.
But then she learned something very important. She realized that she was trying to protect herself from getting hurt. She did this by ending the relationship before her boyfriend could. She didn’t even know she was doing it!
Even if her relationships were going well, Jeanette would look for reasons to break up with them. She would start to look for small things that were wrong with her partner. This can be confusing and hurtful to her partners, who might not know what they did wrong.
Breaking up caused by fear of abandonment
Definitely, Jeanette isn’t the only one who feels this way. Many women had a hard time when they were young. They will have similar problems in their relationships when they grow up. But there’s good news! I helped Jeanette to feel better and have happier relationships. And we can do this for anyone else who feels this way.
Jeanette’s fear comes from something that happened when she was young. It is not her fault, and it is okay to feel scared sometimes. But we can help her to feel stronger and more confident in herself.
I helped Jeanette feel better about herself. She realised that she was a good person who deserved love. This made her feel more secure in her relationships. Then she started to trust that her partner would stay with her. She also talked to her new boyfriend, Peter, about her feelings. They worked together to make their relationship stronger.
Sometimes, we do things without even realizing why we’re doing them. But once we figure it out, we can start to make changes. Jeanette realized that she didn’t have to be afraid of getting hurt. And that it was okay to stay in a relationship, even if it was scary sometimes.
Now, Jeanette and Peter have been together for over three years and are very happy! It is not always easy to heal from the past, but with help and support, it is possible. Anyone can learn to feel better about themselves and have happier relationships.
Stop a pattern of always breaking up with your partners
It can be hard to stop a pattern of always breaking up with your partners. Sometimes, the reasons for doing it are hidden in your mind, and you don’t even know what they are. But it’s worth trying to figure it out because it can help you have happier relationships in the future.
When we were kids, some things happened that made us feel bad, but we might not even remember them now. But these bad feelings can come back when we’re in a relationship, and it can make things hard.
If we argue with our partners, we will react in different ways than we normally would. We react more like wounded or hurt children. And this is true. Not only we but also our partner is reacting as a hurt child.
And none of us is to blame for that. Both of us are feeling like little kids who got hurt a long time ago. But if we don’t fix those old hurts, we will keep breaking up with people or choosing the wrong partners.
But there is a way to make things better! You can talk to someone who knows how to help, someone like me!
Click here for our free “6 Steps To Healing Your Relationships” Guide. In this guide, you will learn how to start feeling better and stop the childhood patterns.
Remember that it is okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.
