No relationship or marriage is perfect, and unfortunately, breakups do happen. Good relationships and marriages can be challenging to maintain, and there are many hidden causes that can lead to their failure. In this blog, we’ll discuss the 10 most hidden reasons why marriages or relationships can fail.
1. Unrealistic Expectations
Having unrealistic expectations of each other or expecting the other person to change can lead to disappointment and resentment.
Expectations should always be discussed openly between partners so that both parties are on the same page regarding what they want from each other. Setting unrealistic expectations, however, can create tension between two people. This happens especially when one person expects something from their partner that is not realistic.
- The first step here is to take responsibility for your own actions and behaviour and also for your expectations.
Do you expect your partner to make you happy? They cannot and it is not their responsibility either, it is only yours. Only you can make you happy.
You cannot change your partner, you can only change yourself and it is your responsibility to do so. It may be, however, that when you change your behaviour and actions, your partner changes in reaction to that.
How you can do that is what you will find in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
2. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
When it comes to relationships, the use of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse or avoidance can be a major issue. It can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust, making it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. This can be especially damaging when it also leads to an increase in arguments and tension. The person may become more distant, limiting their involvement in the relationship. In some cases, the person may even be unable to perform in the relationship at all. This lack of communication and involvement can leave the other person feeling neglected, unimportant, and frustrated.
The person with the addiction may also become more secretive and withdrawn, leading to further problems in the relationship. In addition, the person struggling with addiction may be unable to take responsibility for their own behavior and may become increasingly unreliable. This can make it difficult for the other person to trust the other, leading to further issues. The effects of substance abuse can be devastating and can lead to serious issues in the relationship. Addiction can lead to financial strain, health issues, and even legal problems. In extreme cases, it can lead to divorce. Substance abuse issues can be difficult to overcome and require a lot of patience, empathy and love from the partner. And this will continue until treatment has been sought after by those affected by addiction.
- The first step you can take here is to accept the situation, which begins by acknowledging that there is a problem. This has to be accepted and acknowledged by the person that has the addiction, and they have to take responsibility for it and also for the actions they will take to improve the situation.
As long as they are not able or willing to see that, all that their environment can do is accept the situation and accept that it is out of their hands. Only they can decide what and how much they are willing to accept in their life. Everybody is only responsible for their own actions and behaviours, not for anyone else’s.
How you can do that is what can read in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
3. Lack of Self-Awareness & Confidence
When it comes to relationships, not being aware of one’s own feelings and needs can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. This is because when we don’t check in with ourselves it’s harder to communicate our wants and needs to our partner. By not being aware of our own feelings and needs, we can easily slip into patterns of avoidance and make excuses for our partner’s behavior. We might even make excuses for our own emotions and needs by telling ourselves it’s not important and that we don’t need to speak up. This can lead to a lack of communication and an inability to discuss issues, which can cause tension and resentment to build in the relationship.
Having a clear understanding of our own feelings and needs is vital in order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. It is important to recognize our own self-worth and to be able to express ourselves without being intimidated. This way, we can communicate our needs to our partner in a clear and assertive manner and can be open to compromise. It is also important to remember that relationships are never one-sided. Both parties need to be aware of their own feelings and needs in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
- The first step you can take here is to accept the situation. When you can accept it as it is, you can see what is there. And when you can see the problem it is ready to be resolved.
For this, you need to go deep inside yourself to find the root causes of these feelings. And you will have to be honest towards yourself and find out what these feelings really are about. Then you can take responsibility for your actions in healing this.
How you can do that is explained in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
4. Unresolved Trauma
Unresolved trauma from past relationships or childhood experiences can have a lasting impact on our ability to trust and connect with a partner. When left unresolved, this trauma can manifest itself in difficulty trusting and connecting with others. It can lead to feelings of fear and insecurity, as well as an inability to make meaningful connections with potential partners. As such, it is important for individuals to recognize the signs of unresolved trauma in order to address it before attempting to form new relationships.
- The first step to take here is to take responsibility for your actions. And take responsibility for changing this. It is not your fault, you are not to blame for how you feel, but it is your responsibility to do something about it.
Your reactions are caused by things that happened in your past. This is all in your subconscious, you are probably not aware of any of it. But it is your responsibility to find out about this.
You can find out how to do this in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
5. Unhealthy Attachment Styles
When it comes to relationships, healthy attachment styles are key in order for the relationship to thrive. Unhealthy attachment styles, such as being too clingy or distant, can create a level of stress and anxiety that can cause significant damage to the relationship. A person who is too clingy may be overly reliant on their partner for validation and emotional support. They may become overly possessive, or even paranoid, which can cause their partner to feel suffocated and smothered. This can lead to resentment and frustration, and ultimately, to the breakdown of the relationship. On the other hand, a person who is too distant may be emotionally unavailable and struggle to open up and express their feelings. This can make their partner feel neglected and ignored, and cause them to feel like they are not getting their needs met.
- The first step for you to take here is to take responsibility for your actions and behaviours. Where are you clinging to your partner? And then you need to find out why you are doing that. Or are you the one that is aloof and not really connecting? Find out why.
It is likely that you are behaving in ways that you do not even understand yourself. It is most of the time unconscious behaviour, which means that it is not your fault and that you are not to blame for it. But it is your responsibility to do something about it, to change it. Only you have the power to do that. If you do not take this upon yourself, you will find that this will come back in the next and the next relationship you will have. This will continue until you find the cause for your actions, feelings and behaviours.
You can find out what to do and how to do this in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
6. Different Life Goals
When two people come together, they often have different life goals and plans for the future. Over time, this can create tension and make it difficult for them to remain together in the long run. One of the most common issues that couples face when it comes to different life goals is that one person wants to move in a different direction than the other. This could be anything from wanting to pursue a different career, to wanting to live in a different city, to wanting to travel the world. If one person’s plans don’t align with the other’s, it can lead to a lot of tension and frustration.
Another issue that couples face when it comes to different life goals is when one person wants to start a family and the other doesn’t. This can be a difficult situation to navigate, as it’s usually a decision that both parties have to make together. If one person wants to have children and the other doesn’t, it can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and resentment. Having different life goals and plans for the future can make it very difficult for couples to remain together in the long run.
- The first step to take here is to take responsibility for your actions. Have you been talking with your partner about the things you want in the future? Are you communicating the changes that are happening in your life? These are very important things to talk about.
Things change in life, you can be sure of that. Things that happened in the past have an impact on that as well. Are you aware of that? When you value your relationship with your partner, you have to be open and honest about these things. And you have to be clear about what it is that you want and what you do not want.
In our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships” you will find how to do that, along with 5 more steps to take.
7. Poor Communication Skills
When it comes to relationships, communication is essential. Good communication skills and the ability to express yourself are integral components of a healthy relationship. Without these skills, couples can quickly find themselves in an unhealthy and difficult situation. When couples don’t talk to each other or don’t listen to each other, misunderstandings start to arise. This can lead to hurt feelings, arguments and resentments.
When couples don’t talk to each other, they can not express their needs, frustrations, and feelings. This can result in a lack of intimacy and connection, which can cause a relationship to unravel. Not having good communication skills or not knowing how to express oneself can also lead to a lack of trust. If couples can’t communicate effectively, one partner may begin to feel that the other is hiding something or is not being honest. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and suspicion, which can damage a relationship.
- The first step to take here is to take responsibility for your actions. Are you both talking? You can start by telling things about yourself. And you can ask questions to show that you are interested in your partner’s feelings and opinions. Be involved in their interests, and find out what they like or do not like. It means that you have to be vulnerable towards your partner.
If you are not able to do that it is your responsibility to find out why you cannot do that. What is blocking you from opening up to your partner? There are many unconscious reasons for these issues, meaning that it is not your fault, nor that you are to blame for it, but it is your responsibility to change this. It is important for both parties involved in a relationship to take responsibility for their own communication skills and work together to ensure that they are expressing themselves clearly and effectively.
How to do that is explained in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
8. Lack of Trust
When it comes to relationships, trust is essential. Without it, the foundation of the relationship is shaky, and any issues that arise will be even more difficult to address. If there is no trust between two people, it can lead to further problems in the relationship. When trust is lacking, it can be hard to be open and honest with each other. Without trust, it is difficult to be vulnerable and share your true thoughts and feelings. This can create a cycle of suspicion, fear, and frustration, which can cause further issues in the relationship. Trust is also essential for a healthy sex life. Without trust, it can be difficult to feel safe and secure in a sexual relationship. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and resentment, which can further damage the relationship. Lack of trust can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Without trust, it becomes very difficult to move forward in the relationship and build a strong bond.
- The first step you can take here is to take responsibility for your actions and behaviour. Because this lack of trust is often something that has developed unconsciously and in the past, it means that it is not your fault, nor are you to blame for it, but it is up to you to do something about it. Take the time to talk about your feelings, listen to each other, and be supportive.
With patience, understanding, and a willingness to take responsibility for your actions, you can restore trust and openness in your relationship. Be patient with yourself and with your partner as you work to rebuild your trust and openness. If you fail to do so you will always have the same issues in all your relationships. It is very important to find out why you cannot trust anyone and open up to your partner.
How you can do that is explained in our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, along with 5 more steps to take.
9. Different Values
Having different values or beliefs can make it difficult for two people to stay together in the long run. When two people have different core beliefs about life, this can create tension in their union. This can lead them away from understanding each other’s perspectives on important topics, such as family, religion, politics, money management etc. Values and beliefs can be deeply entrenched and difficult to change, and this can create a wide divide between two people who are in a relationship. This means that you have to be willing to learn about the other person’s values and beliefs. And also to be open to compromising and finding ways to make the relationship work.
- The first step you can take here is to take responsibility for your own actions and behaviour. Take the time to talk about your values and beliefs, listen to each other, and make sure you understand where both of you stand.
Having different values and beliefs can make it difficult for two people to stay together, but it is not impossible. By taking responsibility for the challenge, it is possible to navigate the divide and work towards a common goal. Open communication, understanding, and compromise are essential for finding common ground and making a relationship work.
You can find out how you can do that by getting our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, in which you will find 5 more steps to take.
10. Unmet Needs
Not meeting each other’s emotional needs or not understanding each other’s needs can cause tension and resentment in the relationship. It is easy for couples who have been together for an extended period to forget about tending to individual needs outside the realm of just taking care of their significant other. This can go two ways. Either they end up neglecting themselves completely by putting too much focus on meeting the demands made by their partner. Or they allow resentment to build up because they are feeling taken advantage of by their spouse. It is easy to blame the other person and get caught up in the negative emotions that come from not having your needs met. But, if we want to have healthy relationships, it’s important to take responsibility for our part in the situation and make changes that will benefit both people.
- Therefore, the first step you can take is to take responsibility for understanding your own needs and expressing them to your partner. If your partner does not understand your needs, it is important to communicate in a way that is clear and respectful. It is also important to take responsibility for understanding your partner’s needs.
Ask your partner questions, listen to their answers, and try to understand their perspective. This will help you to better meet their needs and create a stronger connection between the two of you. This can be hard to do, but it is important to be open and honest if we want our relationship to be successful. We should be able to talk about our feelings without judgment and take responsibility for expressing our needs in a way that is respectful and clear.
To find out how you can do that you can get our free guide the “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships”, in which you will find 5 more steps to take.
Conclusion: These are just some of the most hidden reasons why marriages or relationships can fail, but there are many more that may be less obvious but just as important. We can help you to navigate all these difficult issues. And you can start by getting our “6 Steps of Healing Your Relationships” guide, in which you will find 5 more steps to take.
