If you are a chronic pain sufferer, whether it’s physical or emotional, then you really need to read this as the information I’m about to share has the potential to save your life.

I was a chronic stress-head and so self-critical to a point it broke down my body’s ability to heal.

So, how is that? Well, if you’re in chronic stress, then your body believes it’s going through life-threatening situations constantly. Therefore, your body functions thinking it’s in constant danger.

When your nervous system is triggered to function from the fight-or-flight response, then the body goes into overdrive and sends energy to deal with the threat. Now that threat is everything. For me, it was “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t ask that question they will think I’m stupid”. I would beat myself up for days, weeks, months and sometimes years for a mistake I had made. Now the kicker was I had no idea I was a stress-head. I thought that I was a battler – that I was a strong confident woman and so did everyone else. It was a lie and I had no idea. I had been living this way for as long as I can remember, so I thought this was how life was and how everyone is. I therefore never questioned it.

After three diseases, a disability, two nervous breakdowns and an addiction to painkillers, I woke up and realised what was going on in my head to cause this. Now you’re thinking, “how did you come to that realisation?” Well, it as because the thoughts I was experiencing at that time were encouraging me to take my life and end it – I thought that was best for everyone.

Yes, my thoughts had spun to suicidal spin. This is where I had the deepest realisation of life. I had created every problem in my life from my thoughts. My pain worsened from the stress. The stress was triggered by me not thinking I was good enough in the world. Diseases had come as a result of my body thinking it was in constant danger. My immune system had weakened because it was never given the time to do its job as I was keeping it busy keeping me alive in the barrage of life-threatening situations. I had trained my body and mind to believe they were in a constant war zone, when all I was in was an average life, with average problems – nothing that would kill me. Yet my body thought it was in danger every day.

I want you to know, you can reverse all of this. I am no longer living with a disability. All diseases are in remission and my mental health is in top condition. However, my grey hair has never gone – but hey, there is hair dye!

To help you really embody this, watch this video for you to watch. It’s a talk I presented in South Africa where 42% of their population suffer chronic pain.

You do not need to manage your depression, anxiety and any other stress alone. If you are having suicidal thoughts and feel that you need immediate help, reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14.